Skip to main content

tv   Anderson Cooper Special Report  CNN  June 14, 2013 10:00pm-11:01pm PDT

10:00 pm
and kate, bright and early monday. >> thank you. that does it for us for now. thanks for watching. >> i'm anderson cooper. in the hour ahead, you're going to meet somebody who has demonstrated bravery time and time again as a u.s. navy s.e.a.l., a person who served this country for 20 years, and now is showing another kind of strength, living as the woman she felt she's always been. this is her story, from chris to kristin, a navy s.e.a.l.'s secret. he enlisted in 1990, with the dream of joining the u.s. navy s.e.a.l.s, one of the toughest, fittest and most secretive forces in the u.s. military. he realized that dream serving 20 years with the s.e.a.l.s, serving in iraq and afghanistan. a former navy s.e.a.l. who knew beck said he had a stellar reputation.
10:01 pm
by the time he retired in 2011, he had a long list of medals and commendations including the bronze star and purple heart. but for 20 years, while fighting for his country, he was fighting a battle over his gender identity. chris beck wanted to live his life openly and honestly as a woman. which is what he started doing when he retired in 2011. chris beck is now kristin beck, and feels like she's becoming the person she was always meant to be. it's been a long journey to get to this point. she's written a book about her experience called "warrior princess." it comes after the u.s. department of defense repealed its don't ask, don't tell, but gender identity has nothing to do with sexuality.
10:02 pm
the combat veteran would not be allowed to serve in the military as she lives her life today. how far back have you felt like this? >> i would say since grade school. i remember in third grade especially that i would look over toward my sisters and i would always want to be my older sister, heather. she was like that shining example, and it was like, i wish so much that i was more like that. and it was always just something deep inside of me that i felt that way. >> a lot of people don't understand that gender is different than sexuality. what was the feeling, even as a child, what was the feeling? >> that's -- it's so hard to explain. that's why there's still so much controversy, each within the medical doctors and everybody else and psychologists. there's always like this debate,
10:03 pm
and it's always very gray. it's very odd. it's a chemical makeup in ourselves that make the x and the y and everything else and how it breaks apart, and these chemicals are mixed in on untold amount of ways. just speaking for myself, but i think a lot of other people feel the same way. it's something you can't say. it's in my brain, my heart, my soul, it's in something within me. >> but even in third grade something you felt? >> definitely. >> did you know -- could you -- >> i didn't know what it was. i didn't even know -- what do you say, cross dresser, transsexual? it's so misunderstood. i think out of the entire community, the lbgt community that is so open and so misunderstood and we're growing to a point where people are
10:04 pm
starting to understand. but still being transgender is such a misunderstood thing. it's difficult for even us to explain it. i think that's why my book "warrior princess" talks about that anguish and how far it goes back. >> as a teenager, did you -- did those feelings continue? >> yes. it's like when i'm sitting with a bunch of guys and we're just hanging out and they see a girl walking in the mall and she's walking by and they're all whistling and saying wow, she looks awesome. and i'm going yeah, she's awesome. but i'm looking at her hair or makeup or how she looks. i want to wear her shoes and it's like, i wish i could be her. so every thought i have is not what i would say the quote man would think, but i'm still stuck in that body for so long. so i started being able to disguise it. if i say something like, if she
10:05 pm
has cool earrings and i'm sitting there with a bunch of guys and i get beat up. so it was something you had to suppress and i got very good at bottling it up. >> that's got to be incredibly difficult and painful. >> yes. you grow up with it for so long, and you just get so used to living through that despair. it's an anguish you keep holding inside you. i know it's a similar story we all have, that you hold on to it and when you're looking at the girls and you whistle and you're trying to do that, ride around on motorcycles. but a year into it, after being in that disguise, you're like, it just breaks out and i have to rub out to victoria's secret and buy something and wear it for a couple of days and decompress. it's like that. >> i don't think most people can understand what it's like to feel like you are in disguise,
10:06 pm
to feel like you are not in the body you are meant to be in, that you're not the gender you're meant to be. did you feel that way always, constantly? >> it is a constant. but as you suppress and bottle it up, it's not like not on that surface. so maybe i can put it back a few different layers. i can push it so deep, but then it gnaws at you. so it's always there, but it's always -- it's always there. but you just push it back. >> it's got to take a toll. >> it takes a huge toll. it destroys a lot of people. it's that turmoil and anguish. i know that a lot of my friends have that, you know, the same problem and they're struggling with it and trying to balance it. and that destroys marriages and families and your job. because you're dealing with it so much that when you're in that
10:07 pm
disguise so much, maybe it spurts out as anger or something else. you know, it's not -- you have that bottle and it's in there so tight. >> how would you let off steam, let off pressure? you said you would go to sometimes victoria's secrets? >> yeah, i would go to victoria's secrets and buy something, because close to valentine's day is the best time because there's a lot of guys buying stuff for your girlfriends. you can say you have a girlfriend and she's my height and she weighs less than me. so you give them dimensions that are close. and the ladies are always so polite. that was the best thing, because a lot of guys go in there to buy stuff for their girlfriends. so it's not uncommon. so i would buy some things and bring it home and wear it. then you have to purge, because you can't have anything laying around.
10:08 pm
>> what do you mean purge? >> it -- you buy a lot of stuff and you have these cool shoes or this really good stuff that makes you feel more closer to how you would like to feel, closer to that spark or that spirit. you feel good about yourself. but then you can't expose yourself or you can't take the chance that anybody else would ever see this or you can't let it be there too much, because then you get too comfortable with it, and it spills out, so you have to get rid of everything. >> someone might find it? >> yes. or you get too comfortable with that and you let down your guard. so the purge is something that probably every cross dresser and transgender and everybody else, it's like a reset point where i'm not doing this ever again and you're beating yourself up, i can't do this anymore. society has beaten us down so much for so many thousands of
10:09 pm
years. and i think it's the same similar with the lbgt community that it's always been such a suppressed and such a stigma attached to that, which doesn't always make any sense, it's in nature, it's so deep within you. we've been told not to. i wanted to be a s.e.a.l. because it was like the toughest of the tough. girl's night out. every time i walk out my front door, it's a challenge, it's a mission. still eating chalk for heartburn? yeah... try new alka seltzer fruit chews. they work fast on heartburn and taste awesome. these are good. told ya! i'm feeling better already. [ male announcer ] new alka seltzer fruits chews. enjoy the relief! [ male announcer ] new alka seltzer fruits chews. in parks across the country, families are coming together to play, stay active, and enjoy the outdoors.
10:10 pm
and for the last four summers, coca-cola has asked america to choose its favorite park through our coca-cola parks contest. winning parks can receive a grant of up to $100,000. part of our goal to inspire more than three million people to rediscover the joy of being active this summer. see the difference all of us can make... together. where over seventy-five percent of store management started as i'm the next american success story. working for a company hourly associates. there's opportunity here. i can use
10:11 pm
walmart's education benefits to get a degree, maybe work in it, or be an engineer, helping walmart conserve energy. even today, when our store does well, i earn quarterly bonuses. when people look at me, i hope they see someone working their way up. vo: opportunity, that's the real walmart. cheryl burke is cha-cha-ing in depend silhouette briefs for charity, to prove that with soft fabric and waistband, the best protection looks, fits, and feels just like underwear. get a free sample and try for yourself. but i'm also on a lot of medications that dry my mouth out. i just drank tons of water all the time.
10:12 pm
it was never enough. i wasn't sure i was going to be able to continue singing. i saw my dentist and he suggested biotene. it feels refreshing. my mouth felt more lubricated. i use the biotene rinse twice a day and then i use the spray throughout the day. it actually saved my career in a way. because biotene really did make a difference. this is chris beck in june
10:13 pm
of 2010, shortly before he retired from the military. shortly before his life changed dramatically. chris had served in some of the most dangerous combat zones in the world with one of the toughest units in the u.s. military, the navy s.e.a.l.s. beck enlisted in 1990. s.e.a.l.s who knew him say he developed a reputation as a good comrade and fearless warrior. the stuff training for s.e.a.l.s is legendary, but beck excelled. that's him taking down a target in hand-to-hand combat. diving under water to practice approaching ships from below. that's him doing a back flip during parachute training. commander rutherford knew beck when they were both s.e.a.l.s. >> he had a reputation for doing the most dangerous and most challenging things. to being the furthest out in the field that you could go. >> for 20 years, beck served
10:14 pm
with the s.e.a.l.s all over the world, including iraq and afghanistan. one of his primary jobs, intelligence, he grew a thick beard, earning him the nickname "the caveman." >> he's volunteered for all the hardest assignments. he volunteered for the most difficult missions. >> on, off, it's real easy. don't mess with this one here, because this is the sight itself. then you have a brightness control. >> beck became a senior chief on his s.e.a.l. team. >> you can load as many magazines as you want. >> but chris beck kept a secret from his fellow s.e.a.l.s. one he felt he couldn't share each among the men he served with and fought with, men he called his brothers. former navy s.e.a.l. brandon webb says reputation means everything. >> being in the s.e.a.l.s, it's an alpha male world.
10:15 pm
you have one of the toughest, most male dominated units in the military, and one -- it takes a lot of guts for someone like chris to come out with this. >> chris beck, now kristin beck, retired from service in 2011 and is living her life openly as a woman. her navy s.e.a.l. past is still a part of her, the battle scars testament to her dedication in the field. >> i'm 80% disabled. i fell off a ship. we were trying to board, and i fell off the ladder from 18 feet up, and i landed on a -- on the boat down below. i also had an accident where i broke part of my scapula. i broke this wrist, i've broken a lot of my fingers. i consider myself very lucky. i put up with all that pain as my payment for my freedoms. so i paid for my freedom to be
10:16 pm
able to live my life. >> why did you want to be a s.e.a.l.? >> that's a tough question. i wanted to be a s.e.a.l. because it was like the toughest of the tough, and so for me, having my femininity, it was like -- i've heard people say before, it's like escaping into hyper masculinity. and i go yeah, i didn't know what i was doing. i didn't know the term hyper masculinity. but it was more of those layers being on. and that's a huge, thick layer. >> so there was part of you that felt if you could become a s.e.a.l. and be in the toughest of the tough, that feminine side of you would disappear? >> yes. i could totally make it go away. if i could be at that top level, be -- maybe it would go away. maybe i could cure myself.
10:17 pm
>> you really thought that? >> yes. and i think it's probably the society and family pressure and everything else, as more people -- i tell my sisters and a couple of other people, i keep it secret. oh, my god, i can't believe you're doing that. i have no role models. i had no one to look up to. i ask that today, i look around and say name one transgender hero, and some people will say rupaul. and rupaul is an amazing person, done a lot of good stuff, but rupaul is a drag queen. she's an amazing actress, performer. but i'm not a performer. i want a normal life. i want to be the lady just down the street from you that you would never know was transgender. i'm just the lady down the street. i go shopping, i do this and that and i live my life as a normal woman down the street. i'm not performing. this is my life.
10:18 pm
>> so for 20 years as a navy s.e.a.l., 20 years in the navy, there was a core of who you were deep down inside, but you had all these disguises layered on sop of it. so no one knew the real you? >> no one ever met the real me. >> although the people that you served with -- >> never. >> you're in this incredibly secretive community. you're in this masculine military community, the navy s.e.a.l.s. >> yes. >> so that's got to add another layer to it. >> a huge layer. it was like that onion. you peel that back and you have as many layers of the onion as you can. but deep down inside the middle is where my female persona was hidden. >> did you like being a s.e.a.l.? >> yes. it's amazing. can you imagine being in a group
10:19 pm
of people where life and death is the everyday, you know, we do it all the time. it's in your trust and your camaraderie and the tightness of that. it's nothing like anything i've ever seen. >> there's nothing else like that bond? >> nothing like that, i don't think. especially when we start going to war with these guys and we're bleeding in the same sand, or going to the jungles and the places i've been. you know, bosnia, and all over africa and a few spots, afghanistan, iraq, all the other places i fought in these wars, and these different conflicts, you can never compare that to anything else. >> and yet you couldn't tell these -- you couldn't tell your brothers in arms who you really were. >> no, not at all. it was so deep that i -- i was cured for 20 years maybe. i don't know. that's the hard thing to explain.
10:20 pm
i had to suppress it so far. i did it here at the house. when i was off, out, i had weekends, so on the weekends i was decompress. but there would be six months when we were on deployment and i would stay away from it. >> it's got to be so sad to think that for 20 years you have this incredible bond with these people you're fighting with, and you want it to be the closest bond imaginable. and yet you can't really let yourself be yourself. >> it's definitely tough. it's strength and honor. when we shake hands, we say strength and honor, that's still what i gave true. i gave true brotherhood. i did my best 150% all the time. and i gave strength and honor and my full brotherhood to every military person i ever worked
10:21 pm
with, and i feel that pretty much any transgender person that is in the military right now, and there's a lot of them doing service, they're doing the same thing and you would never know that they were transgender or anything. it's just too bad, because they're doing a great job, and nobody even knows it. >> do you think some of the people you served with or maybe even people that didn't know you have heard your story feel you weren't being honest? >> i've had that. yes, i've had that actually told to me straight to my face that i was lying. i was like, how was i lying? i'm still doing a job and still doing this. >> everybody knows that s.e.a.l.s are incredibly strong. in my opinion, to do what you're doing now requires a whole other different kind of strength, though. >> i've seen that comment quite a bit. some of my s.e.a.l. team brothers say it's a whole different type of courage. it's not something i look at
10:22 pm
myself or say i'm courageous. i never thought about it that way. but there have been a lot of people that say that. i guess it is, and the only reason i did this a little more public than i wanted to originally is what i wrote in the beginning of the book. i found that the population in america, the suicide rate is between 1% to 3%. the transgender suicide rate is 50% to 60%. the teenage transgender, teenagers kids in high school, it's just like that, half. attempted or were able to follow through with it. the hey dread and bullying with these kids, they're so young, they don't know what they're doing, and they're afraid. >> what's it like to go outside now as you? i mean, is it -- i imagine part
10:23 pm
of it is liberating, and there's got to be also fear. >> yes. just like i said, i want to be the woman down the block, so i want to represent well. i want to go out there and -- it would be disrespectful to women and disrespectful to the lbgt community for me to go out my front door and not present myself as good as i could. >> they're going right in the same freaking hole. >> the weapon is shooting pretty good. every day we're working to be an even better company - and to keep our commitments. and we've made a big commitment to america. bp supports nearly 250,000 jobs here. through all of our energy operations, we invest more in the u.s. than any other place in the world. in fact, we've invested over $55 billion here in the last five years - making bp america's largest energy investor.
10:24 pm
our commitment has never been stronger. ♪ fly me to the moon ♪ let me play among the stars ♪ and let me see what spring is like ♪ ♪ on jupiter and mars ♪ in other words [ male announcer ] the classic is back. ♪ i love [ male announcer ] the all-new chevrolet impala. chevrolet. find new roads. ♪ you the day building a play set begins with a surprise twinge of back pain... and a choice. take up to 4 advil in a day or 2 aleve for all day relief. [ male announcer ] that's handy. ♪
10:25 pm
[ male announcer ] that's handy. hoo-hoo...hoo-hoo. hoo-hoo hoo. sir... i'll get it together i promise... heeheehee. jimmy: ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? ronny: i'd say happier than the pillsbury doughboy on his way to a baking convention. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. they have no idea what it was like before u-verse high speed internet. yeah, you couldn't just stream movies to a device like that.
10:26 pm
one time, i had to wait half a day to watch a movie. you watched movies?! i was lucky if i could watch a show. show?! man, i was happy to see a sneezing panda clip! trevor, have you eaten today? you sound a little grumpy. [ laughter ] [ male announcer ] connect all your wi-fi-enabled devices with u-verse high speed internet. rethink possible.
10:27 pm
come on. >> it would be an understatement to say that life is a lot different since chris began living full time as kristin. >> all of the stuff that women go through every day. we wake up, put on all the makeup, try to look pretty and presentable. and it's a lot more work than anyone would ever imagine. now i'm ready for the day. i got a lot of dresses and skirts and different things in the last few months or last six months. when i first started shopping, i would go to victoria's secret and make believe i was buying things for my girlfriend. now because i'm a full-time woman i'm buying things for myself. it's liberating. just like any girl in the entire world, i have a pretty good shoe selection. if i have to compare, if i like my guns or shoes better, i would have to say i like my shoes better now. when you have a really pretty
10:28 pm
press on, it empowers you and gives you that confidence. so my body armor i wear now is a very pretty dress and some of my heels. so it's kind of funny how that changes. >> the changes she's embraced have her focus more on wardrobe than warfare these days. but her military experience is never far from the surface. >> that's the beauty about this weapon. it's so simple, not a whole lot of moving parts. it's all together now. ready to go. >> for work, kristin supports herself with the skills she mastered as a navy s.e.a.l. >> we're driving up the 275 north to go to a shooting range. we're going to do some training with jim here. >> she's a paid firearms instructor and trains a local police s.w.a.t. team free of charge. >> weapons should be treated with respect.
10:29 pm
this type of training i see it as a service and as a continuance of what i did in the navy s.e.a.l.s. >> we're good. >> cool. >> let's lock and load. going hot. still shooting real high. i don't know why you're so high. let me take a shot. >> just wondering if it's off. probably not. >> they're going right in the same freaking hole. >> you put three in one hole, so the weapon is shooting good. i think we're good. now you've got to get more accurate, because i just showed you it's not the weapon. >> i know that.
10:30 pm
>> perfect. that's good. how does that feel? >> it's great. >> that's good shooting. want to do it again? >> yep. >> right in the bull's-eye. so there's the end of our training. >> thank you. >> mike, thank you. >> it's been a pleasure. remember, lady's night is monday night after 3:00. more than welcome. >> so we're going to go to the motorcycle shop and check in with one of the mechanics i do a lot of work with and see how the project is going. >> a long-time motorcycle enthusiast, kristin built a bike from the ground up. that exhaust pipe, part of a rocket-propelled grenade. she takes us to her favorite bar. >> it's a girl's night out. >> most of the friends she has today knew her as chris but have stood by her in her new life as
10:31 pm
kristin. >> i love you. >> you're going to make me blush. >> just stepping out of the house these days dressed as kristin is an act of courage. >> are you nervous? >> yeah. there's a lot of prejudice out there. every time i walk out my front door, it's a challenge. it's a mission. you want to make sure that i represent all of us women in a good way. this is my life. i passed a few gentlemen and one of them turned around and yelled a very derogatory term and hit me in the back of the head and kind of knocked me out on my feet. i was pretty much right down. i got right down on the ground and all of them started kicking me. ime, you will lose 3 sets of keys 4 cell phones 7 socks and 6 weeks of sleep but one thing you don't want to lose is any more teeth.
10:32 pm
if you wear a partial, you are almost twice as likely to lose your supporting teeth. new poligrip and polident for partials 'seal and protect' helps minimize stress, which may damage supporting teeth, by stabilizing your partial. and 'clean and protect' kills odor-causing bacteria. care for your partial. help protect your natural teeth. dave's always wanted to do when he retires -- keep working, but for himself. so as his financial advisor, i took a look at everything he has. the 401(k). insurance policies. even money he's invested elsewhere. we're building a retirement plan to help him launch a second career. dave's flight school. go dave. when people talk, great things can happen. so start a conversation with an advisor who's fully invested in you. wells fargo advisors. together we'll go far. [ agent smith ] i've found software that intrigues me. it appears it's an agent of good.
10:33 pm
♪ [ agent smith ] ge software connects patients to nurses to the right machines while dramatically reducing waiting time. [ telephone ringing ] now a waiting room is just a room. [ static warbles ] plays a key role throughout our lives. one a day women's 50+ is a complete multivitamin designed for women's health concerns as we age. it has 7 antioxidants to support cell health. one a day 50+. ( bull roar ) ...if you don't attend the running of the bulls. ole!
10:34 pm
[ alarm blaring ] what we didn't realize was that the adt operator had already called the fire department. if we hadn't had adt, we would have died of smoke inhalation. [ lucas ] i was outside when the fire started. the first thought that ran through my mind was to save the kids. the extra seconds that adt saved me let me save my son and my daughter. [ male announcer ] when it's your family, trust adt fast response monitoring to help protect against burglary, fire, and high levels of carbon monoxide. when seconds count, the experience of adt matters. now get adt starting at just $99 with 24/7 protection just over $1 a day, plus a money-back guarantee. manage your home remotely with adt pulse.
10:35 pm
even keep an eye on your kids. [ lucas ] we put adt in our house for security purposes. you'll never, ever think of it saving a life. in the moment of crisis, that system protected us and saved our lives. [ male announcer ] get adt for as little as $99 and save a lot more than money. call or click today. have you had people see you and say you're not a woman? >> yes. >> have you had people say terrible things to you? >> yes. i've been in the malls and it's pointing and snickering and making comments. i look okay, but i'm definitely not as pretty as a natural woman, somebody who has lived with this her whole life. i'm living with it now inside of me. i'm trying to have it out, and i'm getting better. but i'm still -- it's obvious.
10:36 pm
>> is it something you actually work on that sort of your mannerisms, how you sit? >> yes. >> how do you go from being 20 years a navy s.e.a.l. the way you would sit as a s.e.a.l. to, you know, the way you're sitting right now is as a woman sits. >> i would say to any of the guys out there, if you put a skirt on, you automatically sit like this. it's something that i probably have to think ant a lot more. let me step back and a couple of years after i retired. so after i retired -- >> you retired in 2011. >> 2011, yes. so in 2011, i started -- i went out in public a couple of times and i started going out the front door. actually, i always went out the side door. but it was a scary thing. >> you went out the side door of your own house?
10:37 pm
>> yes, i would go out there and quickly jump in my car and drive. i would run to the car, open the car door up and drive away and go to a safe haven. where is the only safe haven i can go? so i go down to george's alley or flamingo. >> is that a bar? >> gay bar. the people there they open up their arms and it's tough. that first time, and i never did makeup before and i had this ratty wig and it was not very pretty. but i went down there and it was fun, because one of the drag queens kind of took me by the shoulder, and she was way taller than me. she said hey, your name is chris, and we really need to help you out. >> she is giving you makeup advice? >> yeah, you don't do lipstick all over your face like this.
10:38 pm
so i got a few lessons and i got better, and it was something -- think about a young girl growing up with her mom playing with her makeup when she's in grade school. all the time i missed, i had to catch up on. so i'm growing through me growing up period and puberty period, trying to cram it into like a month of sneaking out of my house and talking to them and learning more things, and trying to -- i don't want to disrespect women or my community. so i try to look good. >> i think about any other navy s.e.a.l. two has served 20 years and retired honorably and, you know, served our country, they walk down the street and were known to be a navy s.e.a.l., they would immediately get respect and i'm sure people buy them meals and give them the respect that everybody deserves.
10:39 pm
do you feel like you get the same amount of respect as a navy s.e.a.l. who served 20 years? >> i get the entire opposite. so when i was a s.e.a.l. team guy and i had my s.e.a.l. team clothing on, or if i had a symbol or t-shirt on that had a logo, walking down the street, it's a military man, holding his chest high. but when i put the dress on, it's like the total opposite. now it's a disrespect. what is that person doing? that's gross, it's this, it's that. then you get the snickering and pointing at. so you go from being the superman into being the lowest of the low. and getting beat up. i got jumped in tampa. i was walking -- >> you got attacked? >> i got attacked, yes, yes. >> what happened? >> so i was walking down the
10:40 pm
sidewalk, and this is not very long ago, six months ago, so it wasn't very long ago. i was looking pretty good. it was after i had a lot of those lessons about not to do my lipstick all over my face. i didn't look bad, i was doing okay. but as i was walking down the sidewalk, i passed a few gentlemen, and one of them turned around and yelled a very derogatory term and hit me in the back of the head, and kind of knocked me out on my feet. i was pretty much right down, i got right down on the ground and all of them started kicking me. then as i was waking up from getting hit in the back of the head, i was getting up as they were kicked me. then they stopped kicking me and ran off. so it was tough. >> that's got to feel terrible, not just the physical attack, but -- >> yes.
10:41 pm
>> -- just the lack of respect. >> yes. it's the ultimate prejudice against a person is to look at them and because of something their outside appearance is not like you, that you attack. so they don't know what's inside of me. they have no idea who i am. they don't know what my name is. they see an outer covering. they see a dress. they see that person. and because they see that outside, they attack. what's inside of me, they never consider what's in me. i'm a human being. why would you attack another human being because i'm wearing a dress or i have long hair or makeup on? or i'm white or i'm black or hispanic or anything. i have an outside, something that's different from you and you attack. it's the ultimate prejudice. >> you faced the worst dangers anybody could imagine during
10:42 pm
your multiple tours overseas. what scares you now? >> acceptance. ♪ norfolk southern what's your function? ♪ ♪ hooking up the country helping business run ♪ ♪ build! we're investing big to keep our country in the lead. ♪ load! we keep moving to deliver what you need. and that means growth, lots of cargo going all around the globe. cars and parts, fuel and steel, peas and rice, hey that's nice! ♪ norfolk southern what's your function? ♪ ♪ helping this big country move ahead as one ♪
10:43 pm
♪ norfolk southern how's that function? ♪ a body at rest tends to stay at rest... while a body in motion tends to stay in motion. staying active can actually ease arthritis symptoms. but if you have arthritis, staying active can be difficult. prescription celebrex can help relieve arthritis pain so your body can stay in motion. because just one 200mg celebrex a day can provide 24 hour relief for many with arthritis pain and inflammation. plus, in clinical studies, celebrex is proven to improve daily physical function so moving is easier. celebrex can be taken with or without food. and it's not a narcotic. you and your doctor should balance the benefits with the risks. all prescription nsaids, like celebrex, ibuprofen, naproxen and meloxicam have the same cardiovascular warning. they all may increase the chance of heart attack or stroke, which can lead to death. this chance increases if you have heart disease
10:44 pm
or risk factors such as high blood pressure or when nsaids are taken for long periods. nsaids, like celebrex, increase the chance of serious skin or allergic reactions, or stomach and intestine problems, such as bleeding and ulcers, which can occur without warning and may cause death. patients also taking aspirin and the elderly are at increased risk for stomach bleeding and ulcers. don't take celebrex if you have bleeding in the stomach or intestine, or had an asthma attack, hives, other allergies to aspirin, nsaids or sulfonamides. get help right away if you have swelling of the face or throat, or trouble breathing. tell your doctor your medical history. and find an arthritis treatment for you. visit celebrex.com and ask your doctor about celebrex. for a body in motion. for all those who sleep too hot or too cool, for all those who sleep and struggle to sleep comfortably together, now there's a solution. the company that individualized your comfort with the sleep number bed is now introducing sleep number dual temp, the revolutionary temperature-balancing layer with active air technology that works on any mattress, including yours.
10:45 pm
whether you sleep hot or cool sleep number dual temp allows each of you to select your ideal temperature. so you can both sleep exactly the way you like-at your own perfect temperature. and there's only one place in the world you'll find an entire collection of temperature-balancing solutions-including the revolutionary new sleep number dual temp layer-designed to give you the soundest sleep of your life: a sleep number store near you. sleep number. comfort individualized. visit sleepnumber.com to find one of our over 400 sleep number stores nationwide. are you happy with the way you are now, the way you appear,
10:46 pm
the way you feel? or are you planning to have surgery? are you not sure yet? >> the journey i'm on right now, i just recently came out, i'm starting to live my life as a full female. this is my life. >> so 24 hours a day -- >> 24 hours a day, we call it living full-time. so i'm full time. i'm on hormone replacement therapy right now. i haven't done any of the cosmetic or anything else. this is naturally me. i've done some hair removal for getting rid of my facial hair. that's pretty much all i've done. what you're seeing right now is my natural me, and i'm not happy with it. >> you're not happy with it? >> not at all. when i walked down the street six months ago i got jumped by four guys. >> so you feel you don't look feminine enough? >> not enough. >> you want to pass as a woman,
10:47 pm
not necessarily as a transgender woman, you want to pass as a woman? >> yes. i want to be as presentable as i can, and i still look at it as a respect thing for myself. so i don't press like this for anyone else. >> what are you hoping that this book achieves? because it seems like you're straddling two worlds that don't often meet. the military world, not just the military world, but the s.e.a.l. world and, you know, the transgender world, and you're sort of -- it's the first time i've ever heard of -- i know people who are active service who are transgender or gay or whatever, but to somebody to be so public and open up that kind of dialogue. >> the reason i wrote this book and the reason i'm doing
10:48 pm
everything i'm doing right now, all i want to do is try to bring some of these people to understand what a transgender is and we're not contagious and we're not dangerous and we're not asking for anything else. just like i said, i'm not asking for you to like me or love me or do anything, i just want you to not even tolerate me but don't bet me up and be prejudice against me. don't snicker and point at me, just leave me alone. >> a lot of people don't understand what transgender is, and gender is different than sexuality. so who you're attracted to has nothing to do with your gender. do you consider yourself heterosexual? do you consider yourself gay? are you attracted to men? which would mean you're heterosexual? >> i'm a transgender individual and i'm a human being. i'm very attracted to human beings. >> so you don't want to put a label on yourself that way?
10:49 pm
>> i don't think i can label it. just like somebody growing up and they start realizing what their life is or what they're doing or how they feel about things, i'm a human being and i'm attracted to humans. i'm attracted to intelligence. i'm attracted to whit and humor and happiness. >> you must have been so lonely for so long. i know you were married twice. >> yes. >> you have two kids. but still did the people you were married with have any idea of this part of you? >> it's -- that's probably part of the next story. >> are you scared now? >> yes. yes, i'm very scared. >> of what? i mean, you faced the worst dangers anybody could imagine during multiple tours overseas.
10:50 pm
what scares you now? >> acceptance. being liked. having -- you know, being loved. having people accept me and not be ridiculed and not be, you know, pointed at or anything else. it's very scary. i don't know what's going to happen. >> what do you hope happens? >> i want to have my life. i want to live in peace and happiness. i fought for 20 years for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. i want some happiness. for transgender people, you almost hate yourself when you look in the mirror. from capital one,d bjorn earns unlimited rewards for his small business. take these bags to room 12 please. [ garth ] bjorn's small business earns double miles
10:51 pm
on every purchase every day. produce delivery. [ bjorn ] just put it on my spark card. [ garth ] why settle for less? ahh, oh! [ garth ] great businesses deserve unlimited rewards. here's your wake up call. [ male announcer ] get the spark business card from capital one and earn unlimited rewards. choose double miles or 2% cash back on every purchase every day. what's in your wallet? [ crows ] now where's the snooze button? then goes home...ly goes big... a mother sees the light... a son explores new worlds... and a father finds himself... face to face with himself... only smoother... epic shaves... epic picture... and epic fun... your destination for man of steel... walmart. just like a tablet. so easy to use, it won a best of ces award from cnet.
10:52 pm
and it comes inside this beautifully crafted carrying case. introducing the all-new 2014 chevrolet impala with the available mylink system. ♪ [ beeps ] ingeniously connecting you to your life and the road. that's american ingenuity to find new roads.
10:53 pm
10:54 pm
when you look at pictures of yourself as you were in afghanistan or in the s.e.a.l.s, what do you see, that guy with the beard, what do you see there? >> it's a different person now. that's been put away back into -- that entire person, that bearded, you know, guy in the
10:55 pm
s.e.a.l.s is now inside of that small little spot way deep in the center. and now i have all these pieces of the onion of my female side surrounding that s.e.a.l. team guy. >> the person that -- chris, the person in those pictures, that's not the real you? >> that's the real me. the guy in the beard, the guy in the s.e.a.l. teams, that was the real me. the guy that rode the motorcycle, that was the real me. the guy that's wearing the dress right now, that's me. i'm a woman now. this is my life, and it's all me. >> but you felt -- even back then when you were in the s.e.a.l.s, you felt you were a woman, that you were meant to be a woman, and that you -- it's a cliche to say you were in the wrong body, but that's sort of the most commonly used phrase. that's sort of the way it felt?
10:56 pm
>> the way i felt was exactly that. but that doesn't change the person that you are, it doesn't change your mind or experiences. it doesn't change the wisdom that you've gained from all of your endeavors through life. >> it doesn't change your service? >> it does not change my service. it doesn't change anything about me. because i'm doing this now, it doesn't make me more. it doesn't make me less. it doesn't make me different. >> to have those feelings, and at the same time instantly know these are feelings that i have to -- i have to hide and control and mask, that's -- not many other people have to -- who don't have those same feelings have to mask who they really
10:57 pm
are, and it's got to take such a huge toll on you. more than being gay and because, you know, it's not being gay. it's different than being gay. it's masking a core of who you are, your gender. >> yes. >> from the earliest age, that's got to be so smothering. >> it's a torment. it's a struggle. it's something that you have to somehow come at peace with, within yourself. for transgender people, you've -- you almost hate yourself. when you look in the mirror, what you see is that reflection. what you're trying to see is that reflection from inside of you. but because we're human beings and we have this vision, i have these eyes, i only see this outer covering. >> do you regret joining the s.e.a.l.s? do you regret spending those 20 years not giving voice to the
10:58 pm
deepest part of yourself? >> i do not regret being in the s.e.a.l.s. i don't regret anything i've done in my life. some things i've done, i wish i could have done some things different. i think everybody has things they would do different. but for me, my wisdom and my experiences and the brothers i met along this journey would be -- that would be disrespectful. so i do not regret being in the s.e.a.l.s. >> and you hope the s.e.a.l.s you served with, and other s.e.a.l.s that are serving now, you hope they still view you as a person who lives with strength and honor? >> yes. yes, i do. i hope that they can look at me right now and understand i don't want to be in the public.
10:59 pm
i did feel it is something that was right because of what i've seen and learned about our community, the lbgt community, that this could bring a huge group of people that will be more educated now. because i am, and that's such a far widespread area going from super masculine navy s.e.a.l. to a transgender female. that's a pretty wide jump. if i can bring some of this together and bring understanding and education, that is the true reason i'm even here right now. otherwise, i would much rather be in the gray and disappear and never be in the public. >> and just be the woman down the street? >> yes. >> like it or not, kristin beck is much more than that. one day her wish may come true, for herself and so many others that just want to be themselves. thanks for watching.
11:00 pm
>> we also have the fonz on the show tonight, henry winkler. would you describe it as a gift? >> i carried a tremendous amount of anger. >> and we're going to do the walking dead. you're going to die when you hear what he has in store. >> there's a third threat that's coming out. >> "stroumboulopoulos" starts now!

59 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on